Sinai Covenant and Marriage Covenant

It is an enlightening exercise to compare the Sinai covenant with the marriage covenant by interpreting the Ten Commandments as ten principles of conduct for married people.

Paul Stevens has produced a most perceptive comparison between the two covenants by means of the following table:

Covenant Between                           Covenant Between
Israel and Yahweh                          Wife and Husband

1. No other Gods                           1. Exclusive loyalty to my spouse

2. No graven image                       2. Truthfulness and faithfulness

3. Not taking the Lord’s name in vain 
                                                 3. Honoring my spouse in public and private

4. Remembering the Sabbath day 4. Giving my spouse time and rest

5. Honoring father and mother 5. Rightly relating to parents and in-laws

6. No murder                               6. Freedom from hatred and destructive anger

7. No adultery                            7. Sexual faithfulness; controlled appetites

8. No stealing                          8. True community of property with the gift of privacy

9. No false testimony               9. Truthful communication

10. No coveting                        10. Contentment: freedom from demands.

http://www.angelfire.com/journal/oneflesh/commandments.html

R. Paul Stevens, Married for Good (Downers Grove, Illinois, 1986), pp. 87-88

http://sivers.org/drama  - Interesting commentary from Kurt Vonnegut

…

He explained why people have such a need for drama in their life.

He said, “People have been hearing fantastic stories since time began. The problem is, they think life is supposed to be like the stories. Let’s look at a few examples.”

…

Our lives drifts along with normal things happening. Some ups, some downs, but nothing to go down in history about. Nothing so fantastic or terrible that it’ll be told for a thousand years.

“But because we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think our lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs! So people pretend there is drama where there is none.”

That’s why people invent fights. That’s why we’re drawn to sports. That’s why we act like everything that happens to us is such a big deal.

We’re trying to make our life into a fairy tale.

Got to love the title …

Wild Goose Chase – Rediscover the Adventure of Pursuing God
book by Mark Batterson, published 2008, Multnomah.

Chapters -
Escaping the Cage of Responsibility . . . . . .
Escaping the Cage of Routine . . . . . . . . . . .
Escaping the Cage of Assumptions . . . . . . .
Escaping the Cage of Guilt . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Escaping the Cage of Failure …

Quotes from .. Escaping the Cage of Guilt . . . 

Has someone hurt you? It doesn’t matter how deep the hurt might be, you must forgive that person. Why? If for no other reason, Jesus commands us to. One tiny seed of bitterness can grow into a debilitating obsession.

For example, guilt is a holy and healthy reflex. But false guilt can wreak havoc on our lives. Most of us have an easier time accepting God’s forgiveness than forgiving ourselves.

…

The main struggle is not being able to forget our past. We think that our sinful past disqualifies us from God being able to use us. So we fret over sins we’ve already confessed. 

And what is ironic is that bitterness doesn’t do a single thing to the other person. It only keeps you locked in a cage. If you have the courage to forgive, it will set you free and recondition your heart.

The Look in Jesus’ Eye

taken from: http://www.christianbooksummaries.com
http://www.christianbooksummaries.com/past.php - scroll down and click on Download this summary
http://www.christianbooksummaries.com/library/v5/cbs0504.pdf - Wild Goose Chase

I wonder if the FIREPROOF movie, starring Kirk Cameron, will get to New Zealand any time soon? Judging by the trailers and other videos online, it looks a good movie.

I like these weblinks: http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/needhelp.php
Worth a check out too.

Blessing on your and your marriage,
Johanna * Mark

Mark was on Central TV - InDepth Live!  8.30am Friday morning.

On Christmas, depression, men …

The programme is being rescreened Saturday 4.30 pm, Sunday 8.30 pm, Monday at 11:30 am, Wednesday at 6:30 pm and Thursday [Christmas Day] at 9 pm.

That’s the ten minutes of fame!

We hope and pray that you enjoy your Christmas however you choose to spend it – but may you also know the peace and joy that comes from deeply knowing God’s love and grace.

Johanna * Mark

Don’t Medicate With Alcohol and Drugs This Holiday Season!

Daniel G. Amen, MD, CEO, Amen Clinics, Inc.
www.amenclinics.com

Guess what the busiest month is in mental health treatment nationwide – January! Wonder why? For many, the holidays include a visit from “the ghost of Christmas past” who brings a tray full of unpleasant memories and unrealized expectations.

Sometimes we set ourselves up to fail during the holidays, thinking that for some magical reason this year will be different, when we’ve done nothing to change difficult family and relationship problems. It’s easy to slip into the “comfort zone” of overeating, isolating and abusing alcohol and drugs.

Unfortunately, the temporary relief provided by indulging wears off fast and leaves you feeling worse. And, the damage you do to your brain sets the stage for repeated failure. Here are a few things to consider as the holiday season approaches…

1. Alcohol and drug abuse damages the brain.

From the first scan I ordered on a patient with substance abuse problems, I saw very significant brain changes. A healthy scan shows full, even, symmetrical activity. Drug and alcohol abuse tended to cause overall decreased activity in the brain. These brains looked more aged, more shriveled, and more toxic than the brains of people who did not use drugs.

Heroin and heroin-like drugs, called opiates, caused severe decreased activity, as did much alcohol. Methamphetamines and cocaine tended to cause what looked like multiple holes or mini-strokes in the brain. Marijuana caused decreased activity in the frontal and temporal lobe areas (areas involved with memory and motivation).

All substance abuser brains did not look the same. Some people who have used drugs for a short time had horrible looking brains, while others, who used drugs for longer periods of time, had brains that did not look that bad. There must be genetic factors involved as well.

2. Alcohol and drug abuse is often a form of self medication (hot brains and cold brains).

One of the most powerful lessons we have learned from imaging is that many people who abuse substances are really trying to change their own brain chemistry. First, a word about what SPECT studies actually show us. We basically look for three things: areas of the brain that work well, areas of the brain that work too hard, and areas of the brain that do not work hard enough.

People with overactive brains, such as those with bipolar or manic-depressive disorder, anxiety disorders, certain forms of depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, tend to abuse substances that calm the brain down, such as marijuana, alcohol, or opiates.

People with under-active brains, such as those who have attention deficit disorder, tend to abuse stimulating drugs such as methamphetamine or cocaine. The drugs or alcohol make them feel better, so they continue to use, even though it has many other problems. It is essential to treat the underlying problems in order for them to heal from the substance abuse. Brain injuries are also involved in substance abuse in far greater numbers than most people realize.

3. The past is history and the future a mystery – let’s live today!

This can be a great time of year – I encourage you to take care of yourself, don’t overindulge in destructive behavior and don’t let your past destroy the present. Make new and positive holiday traditions, beginning this year! This year, be kind to yourself and your brain – it will make a difference for you and those you love!

To your brain health,
Daniel

Daniel G. Amen, MD
CEO, Amen Clinics, Inc.

www.amenclinics.com

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Zondervan  ISBN: 0310242827

The Book’s Message

This is not another “how to build a better marriage” book. Rather, it is a book on how the struggles and challenges of marriage can shape us and change us in profoundly spiritual ways.

Marriage is even more than a sacred covenant.

If our hearts are attuned to what God is teaching us, our marriage relationship can help us learn sacrificial love, forgiveness, servanthood, and perseverance.

Marriage is a sacred tool that helps us grow spiritually in ways nothing else can.

“What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

“Romantic love has no elasticity to it. It can never be stretched; it simply shatters. Mature love, the kind demanded of a good marriage, must stretch.”

“We have to realise that human love and divine love aren’t two separate oceans but rather one body of water with many tributaries. We show our love for God in part by loving our spouses well.”

“Marriage virtually forces us into the intense act of reconciliation … Jesus makes it absolutely clear that you must choose unity if you want to maintain a vital prayer relationship with God.”

“To stop moving toward our spouse is to stop loving him or her. It’s holding back from the very purpose of marriage. The opposite of biblical love isn’t hate, it’s apathy.”

“Forgiveness is achingly difficult, and long after you’ve forgiven, the wound … lives on in memory. Forgiveness is an unnatural act … [It’s] blatantly unfair…”

“We allow marriage to point beyond itself when we accept two central missions: becoming the people God created us to be, and doing the work God has given us to do. If we embrace … these two missions, we will have a full life, a rich life, a meaningful life, and a successful life. The irony is, we will probably also have a happy marriage, but that will come as a blessed by-product of putting everything else in order.”

F.E.A.R.

When it all comes down to it, Satan’s attacks on you are intended to create fear and discouragement. We’ll cover discouragement later. Let’s tackle fear now. What does fear mean to you? For many of us, it’s…

Finding Excuses And Reasons

…for not doing the things we know we should do or that we know we want to do. We allow fear to stop us from reaching our potential. We allow it to keep us from taking that first step to build our walls. We allow it to paralyze us within our comfort zone. We allow it to make us…

Forget Everything And Run

..far away from what would often be the most effective approach to our fears – to push through them! If we examined all the fears of our lives, we would find that fear really means…

False Expectations Appearing Real

We have highly developed imaginations, and it’s easy for us to come up with worst case scenarios in our minds. If we don’t, Satan will plant a few seeds. But despite how plausible these seem at the time, almost none of them come true. Consequences are almost never as dire; outcomes are rarely as bleak. And besides, fear is the opposite of faith. God doesn’t want us to be fearful. His Word tells us:
For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

As of today, I encourage you to change what fear means to you. Redefine it to mean…

Face Everything And Recover

Or …
For Everything A Reason

Or…
Faith Erases All Reservations

Don’t allow any more False Expectations to chain you down. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Source: www.wallbuilder2.wordpress.com

Dismantling the Addiction Cycle

Identify Triggers

Set Boundaries

• Desire – You can have all the knowledge, skills and resources you need to get started , but if you don’t have desire, it ain’t happening.
• Discipline – You have to discipline yourself to follow through. Yes, it’s hard, it’s painful. Yes, it takes you out of your comfort zone, but it’s also temporary. Studies have shown that it takes 21 consecutive days of repeated activity to form a habit. You just have to stick with it. Keep your eyes on the larger goal.
• Delight – Benefits of the habit that you never knew existed suddenly materialise.  So many times, we give up too soon. We allow our feelings to dictate our actions.  Feelings follow actions, not the other way around. Develop momentum that makes the habit easy to continue.

Letting God in

Renouncing Baal and Ashteroth – false gods and beliefs

Healing and Freedom

Staying Free

• Know your enemy and how he operates
  • Satan tries to get you feeling Discouraged, Disillusioned, Disappointed, Disconnected and Defeated.
• Know the truth and maintain freedom – need God’s help
• Build boundaries [walls] and guard gates
• Be accountable – trusted others
• Help your children and others

Remember

• God loves you no matter where you are at.
• Don’t believe the Devil’s lies. 
• You have the righteousness of Christ and that you are God’s son.
• What you DO can never change WHO YOU ARE in Him.
• Build your walls and guard your gates. 
• Go at the pace that the Holy Spirit establishes for you.

(C) Mark Whittaker, www.2Restore.wordpress.com, excerpt from seminar, Sept 2008.

Recommended Resources: www.wallbuilder2.wordpress.com; http://cavman.wordpress.com/2008/09/29/considering-addictions/

Setting Boundaries

A basic coping skill in interpersonal relationships is the ability to set and maintain proper boundaries for our interaction with others and with the world as we experience it. Many people allow themselves to be imposed upon and even mistreated because of a poor self-image, fear of conflict, and uncertainty about their right to exercise control over their lives.

WHY ARE BOUNDARIES IMPORTANT?

Each of us experiences reality in terms of :

The body – what we look like
Thinking – how we give meaning to incoming data
Feelings – our emotional response
Behavior – what we do or don’t do

Setting boundaries enhances a person’s ability to have a sense of self and to control the impact of reality on the self and others.

more …

HOW ARE BOUNDARIES SET?

The ability or inability to set boundaries may take several forms:

1. The person who, because of low self-esteem, childhood training, or painful experiences in the past, is unable or unwilling to set limits and thus has no protection.

2. The person who builds walls to protect him/herself, thus blocking all closeness and preventing even healthy interaction.

3. The person who is confused or ambivalent about setting limits, wavering inconsistently between the extremes of building walls or erecting inadequate boundaries and thus gaining only partial protection.

4. The person who is self-confident enough to set limits, processing the experiences of life to determine their validity and appropriateness and then making the decision of what is appropriate for him/herself. Intact boundaries give measured protection as the person questions the experience through the filters of mind and feelings, accepts it within the circle when appropriate, and blocks it when it is “out of bounds.

The self-confident person knows:

“I have a right to control distance, touching, and other physical contact with people, and they have the same right with me. I have a right to control my response to what others say, do, or expect of me, and they have the same right.

“I think my own thoughts and make my own choices of what I do or don’t do, and others have the same right. If one of us offends the other, that person is responsible for the impact of his/her action, and should make amends.”

more …

http://www.namb.net/
www.2Restore.wordpress.com