Humour - Best Medicine

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

  • At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  • Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
  • Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 
  • Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in”.
  • Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  • In the memo field of all your cheques, write “for smuggling diamonds”.
  • Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy”. 
  • Don t use any punctuation. 
  • As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  • Order a diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat. 
  • Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”. 
  • Sing along at the opera.
  • Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme. 
  • Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 
  • Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood. 
  • Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
  • When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
  • When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
  • Tell your children over dinner: “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go”.
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